Page - 1 Funny Jokes

Love sms Manager asked punjabi at an interview.
Manager asked punjabi at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Punjanbi replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

Love sms Punjabi: My mobile bill how much?
Punjabi: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Punjabi: : Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Love sms After massive demands from all husbands.
After massive demands from all husbands..........

A new app called
Darr
is launched for smart phones..

You just say.....
'Wife'..
and it closes all websites,
hides all chats,
hide all special folders and best of all.
puts your wife's photograph
as a wallpaper.


Love sms Who said car names don't have meaning
Who said car names don't have meaning
FIAT: Failure in Italian Automotive Technology.
FORD: For Only Rough Drivers.
HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive....
VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object.
PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything.
OPEL: Old People Enjoying Life
TOYOTA: The One You Only Trust, Always.
HONDA: Hanged Over, Now Driving Away.
BMW: Big Money Waste
AUDI : An unwanted debt invitation
Mercedes: Maximum enthusiasm , recurring cost, ego developed, eagerness to sell
And d best..
MARUTI:.Made According to Roads & Users Typically Indian!

Love sms Miss:Bacho Ye Btao K Quaid-e-Azam Hr Note
Miss:Bacho Ye Btao K Quaid-e-Azam Hr Note Me Muskrty Q Rhty Hn? Jub K Dolar Pe To Lincon Ni Muskrta?
Studnet:
miss...
USA Ki Aurten Apne Pesy Waha Ni Rakti jaha PAKISTAN Ki Aurten Rakti Hai.....
Miss....

Love sms Chota Baccha Dukaandar Se
Chota Baccha Dukaandar Se:
Uncle Rang Gora Krnay Wali Cream Hai?

Dukandar: Haan Hai


Baccha:(
(bhagte hue)
Ty apni nikki kuri nu laanda Q nai..

Love in class.....

Girls way:-

A girl sitting on the 1st bench
turns back and see the boy
sitting on last bench and say

"THANK GOD STUPID AAYA HAI...."

Boys way:-

Before the boy could see
his girl entering in class
all his friends start...

.
.
.

"OYE BHABHI AA GAYI OYE...! " ♬

Me: I'm gonna study this year.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I have to make my parents proud & get better grades
.
.
.
Facebook: What did u say?
.
.
.
.
.
Me: Nothing, I love you baby.

Amazing Similarity Btwn
Luv n Food..

if u Cross da limits..
da result is Vomiting..

Guddu makes call to airport.
.
.
Guddu: how long is journey from Delhi to America ?
.
.

Receptionist: 1 sec sir...
.
.
.
Guddu disconnects and says: only one sec ???
.

Pee k baithi hai kameeni .

A boy was going with his Lover.
.
.
.
His friend asked: Who is she..?
.
.
.
BOY: My cousin..
.
.
Friend smiled and
said:
.
.
.
.
Last year she was my cousin..!!

Wife: Honey my stomach is getting bigger i think im pregnant!

Husband: Ya, and i know who's the daddy !!!!

Wife : Who ?
Husband : McDonalds !!!

Girl said: Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in India and he lives in Alaska.

We met on a dating website, became friends on facebook, had long chats on whatsapp, he proposed to me on skype, and now we've had 2 months of relationship through Viber.

I need your blessings and good wishes, daddy.

Dad said: Wow! Really!! Then get married on twitter, have fun on
tango.

Buy your kids on e-bay, receive them through gmail.

And if you are fed up with your husband...sell him on Amazon.

Girl : What are you doing ?
Boy : killing mosquitoes
Girl : how many did you killed?
Boy : total 5 ( 3 female 2 male )
Girl : how did you know that?
.
.
.
Boy : 3 sitting near mirror ,, 2 near beer

A shocking note left by a wife while going out for shopping.
.
.
.
“Dear Husband,
Your wallet was getting fat so i am taking it out for a walk”

Two Best Advices For Safe Life :
.
.
.
1. Always Speak The Truth, No Matter How Bitter Harsh It Is .. .
.
.
.
2. Run Immediately After Saying It..

Boss to an employee:
Do you believe in life after Death?

Employee:
Certainly not!
There's no proof of it, he replied.

Boss:
Well, there is now.
After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle's funeral, he came here looking for you.

Me and a random girl on Fb:
Girl:- “You never smile na?”
Me :- “How can you say this?”
Girl:- "I've never seen your smiling pictures” .
Me :- “ok then by that logic , you never Bath na”
**Blocked**

That Awkward M0ment,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
When You Ign0re
Someone's Ph0ne Call
&
They Call Y0u Fr0m Someone Else's
Phone &
You Answer It

Brilliant Answers by a Student who got 0% Marks.

Q.1- In which battle did Tipu Sultan Died ?
Ans.- In his Last Battle.

Q.2- Where was the Declaration of Independence Signed ?
Ans.- At the Bottom of the Page.

Q.3- What is the Main Reason for Divorce ?.
Ans.- Marriage.

Q.4- Ganga Flows in which State ?
Ans.- Liquid State.

Q.5- When was Mahatma Gandhi Born ?
Ans.- On His Birthday

Q.6- How will you Distribute 8 Mangoes among 6 People ?
Ans.- By Preparing Mango Shake!

Geography Teacher:
India Me sal bhar Sabse Zayda Baraf Kaha Girti Hai?
Awesome Reply By Student:-
"Daaru K Glass Me.." !!

Wife called hubby in office ..
Wife - window is not opening .. What shall I do ?
Hubby - Put some hot water n wait for while. It will open ...

Wife (lil unconvinced)- r u sure ?
Hubby - ya trust me it will do the magic.. Try it ..

(After a while hubby calls back to check) ... Did u do as I told u ! Did it do the needfull trick ?

Wife - I don't kno about the trick or magic but NOW entire laptop is not starting X_X =))

Whatsapp chat
Boy: Hello Babe.... (11:45pm)
Girl: (last seen at 11:46pm)

Boy: Hey please answer me ( 11:50pm)
Girl: (last seen at 11:52pm)

Boy: But why do you treat me like that??
Why don't you answer me? (12:00am)
Girl: (last seen at 12:00am)

Boy: Ok good night dear,
i just wanted to tell you that 2dy I have received my salary
worth Rs.50,000 and i
have reserved Rs.20,000 for ur shopping....but l thin

Girl(typing): ohh hi dea...
Actly mum was der dts y I cudn reply...
N wow darling dts a gr8 nwz....
I love you a lot..
N when shall we go ? (12:05am)
Boy: (last seen 12:06am)

Girl: Baby please answer me na...
dear i was off last time, lmme knw na wen shall we go?(12:08am)
Boy: (last seen 12:09am)

Girl: I think ur lukin vry tired cz off wrkn load..
So nw u go to bed n slp well honey,tk cr, (12:10am)
Boy: (last seen 12:12am)
.
.
Girl: sry to disturb u but 1 thing I forgot dat
tomorrow mom dad are not at home in d evng, so u can come to my place after shopping..love u janu..gnyt.. (12:20am)

Boy(online) - ohh i was preparin for sleep, surely we will meet..c ya tomorrw..mmuuahhh

Awesome..

A notice board in conference hall
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Please keep your mobile on "MANMOHAN" mode.

Height of Customer Care...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Swiss Bank to open ATM in the Indian Parliament".

Shortest Horror Story Ever:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Computer: Unable to connect to the internet

A boy's eyes is faster than Google in searching a beautiful girl in crowd...
.
.
.
.
.
.
But...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A boy's heart is slower than internet explorer while proposing girl whom he loves truly..

Someone asks shakespeare:
'u married a girl elder than u, why?'
.
.
He showed him calendar n said,
"A week has 7 days;'can u say which day is younger?'
Either sunday or saturday??
"So love comes in heart not in age"
'love has no age'

Moral: Senior girls are also available for boys

A man and his wife in court getting a divorce.
The problem was who should get custody of the child.
The wife jumped up and said: ‘Your Honor. I brought the child into the world with pain an labor, Child should be in my custody."
The judge turns to the husband and says: What do you have to say in yourdefense?
The man sat for a while contemplating then slowly rose.
"Your Honor. If I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out.. Whose Pepsi is it? the machine’s or mine?"

A Nano breaks down on a roadside.
A BMW 750Li stops to help the
driver.
"I will tow you to the next service
station, but if I drive too fast please
flash your lights"
They start up slowly but only a km or
so down the line a Porsche speeds
past 150km/h.
The BMW driver totally forgets about
the nano & guns it after the Porsche.
Just as all 3 of them tear through a
speed trap, the cop radios the HQ:
"Calling all stations :: You won't
believe this, I just saw a BMW & a
Porsche racing past at bout 190 km/h
with a Nano behind them flashing its
lights to Overtake:O =)) :P

Japani couple romance kerte howe:
Husband: Sutaki
Wife: Kowanini
Husband: Toka anji rodi romi hoa yako
Wife Ghutnay taik k boli: Mimi yoa nakodinda tinkuji
Husband Ghussay se: Na miaou kina tim kouji.
Logon ka shoq to dekho.
Samajh kuch nhi a raha bas romance ka word aaya
OR
poora Jokes parh dala.- smiley


« Previous 1 2 3 431 32 33 Next »