Page - 1 Santa Banta Jokes

Santa : maine apni beti ka shaadi sirf 400rs mein kiya.

Banta : woh kaise?

Santa : maine use 400 ka BBM recharge karwaya
usne love marriage karli..!

Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!

Santa goes 2 a Petrol Pump
sees a board Don”t use Mobile Here,
he Picks his Mobile Phone,
Calls everyone from his phone
& says DON”T CALL ME NOW.


Banta ask santa: what will you
advise your children about marriage?
Santa declares: I’ll never marry in my life and
I’ll give same advice to my children also.

Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.
Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Good… Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Bad…. Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn’t say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You appoint me

Banta to his new bride, Preeto,
“Now that we are married,
do you think you will be able
to live on my small income?”
“Of course, dear, no trouble,” she replied.
“But what will you live on?”

Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction (left or right)?
Santa: Downwards!

Preeto 2 maid:
Oh Kanta, I have reason 2 suspect that
Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don’t believe it!
U r just trying 2 make me jealous.

Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the match box, but it didnt light.
He tried another, It didnt light too. The third one finally lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.
“What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?” asked the another man.
Santa replied, “Thats a lucky match stick. Ill use it again.”

Banta owned a factory.
He issued orders that only married
men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this ?
Bant reply:
Because married men are more obedient.

Salesman:This computer will
cut your workload by 50%.
Santa:That is great,
I will take two of them:p

Maths Teacher Was Teaching
Mathematical Conversions
Teacher-If
1000 Kgs= Ton.
Then
For 3000 Kgs
=How Much?
Santa-
Ton!Ton!Ton!

Bantas advise:-
Dont carry umbrella during rain
Keep WHISPER on ur head
ye ghanto tak geelepan
ka ahsas nahi hone deta:D

An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope.
Santa Singh was observing him, suddenly a star falls.
Seeing that Santa Singh shouted, “what a shot you made!”

Santa cuts sides of the capsule
before taking it?
Guess why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
To avoid the side effects!

Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him.
Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank’s slogan was:
We make your dreams come true…

Santa:
Major Rohail told me T.V cabel is not good for kids,
they don’t study,so i got rid of it
Banta: Good?
Santa: Now we have a Dish Installed

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies,
I’m coming daily since 4 days,
I press the bell but no one comes out.

An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.

man to Santa:
Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Santa rushes home and came back within
half an hour and slapped the man
and said:
“He’s not my friend.”

Santa was drawing money from ATM.
Banta, who was just behind him in
the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It’s 1394.

Judge: 3rd time you are coming to court,
You don’t have shame?
Santa: you are coming daily,
You don’t have shame?

Tutor 2 SANTA: What is ur father’s name?
Santa: “Beautiful Red Underware”
Tutor: R u joking?
Santa: No sir my father’s name is, “Sundar Lal Chadha” :-)

Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave :-)

Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM. ;-)

A man to Santa : Ur friend is kissing ur wife in ur home.
Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour n slapped the man and said : He’s not my friend.

Preeto : There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.
Banta : Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.
Preeto : I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.
Banta : You don’t even know what a carburetor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?
Preeto : In the pool.

Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons.
One day a pigeon reaches Banta without message.
Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call.

Santa Singh: Can u spell a word that has more than 1000 letters in it?
Banta Singh: Yes, Its Post office.

Q: Why did the Santa put his finger over the nail when he was hammering?
A: The noise gave him a headache.


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